Just a little of me (Time to shrug)

I was asked to write about something that I rarely ever do...myself. I have a hard time writing how I feel, to be honest. I just don't think it matters. Or maybe I just don't matter.
I try to write for what I believe every person deserves, no matter who they are, friend or foe.

So here it goes...Its Xmas, Santa will not bring me my grandmother. I am so damn depressed and so alone, there are moments that I just wish I could fall asleep and not wake up. I knew things were bad when music doesn't even bring me joy. In this past ten years...failed marriage...jobs where I was expected to be perfect...but they expect leniency from me...my jobs feel like my relationships that I have had in my life now.
I truly need to do something new...I think its time to try to do what makes me happy.
Before I do that...I need to find out what that is. I don't know anymore.

I remember being 5 (yes 5! Im not kidding) saying "Im going to be President"...you can laugh now.


Something inside of my chest is making it very hard to breathe, hard to muster money to get a doctor's appointment. For the first time in my life I have more enemies than I do friends. If it were not for the fact that I have signed up for school I would probably leave the country. Its become a tragic comedy where no one gets the punchline, but I am damn tired of getting punched.

I spend most of my time listening to people in my life that have problems that seem to make Erica Kane seem grounded. At least I know Erica wouldn't ask me to solve her problems. I got some advice the other day about Atlas and how sometimes I need to shrug. You see, for most of my adult life I was the guy you go to for things to get fixed.
Not because im so good at it, Im the only one that generally wont say no. I always thought that saying yes was a positive, a good deed a day was a plus. Now I see that anything in its extreme is not a good idea.

I have a lot of truisms (I will be posting those before I close up camp) that I live by..."the minute you feel the world owes you something...you damn well better have something to offer."
So now its time for school on the 10th, find a way to get into a doctor's office (I had better not die before that) and make something worth offering.

Time to start the process of "shrugging."

I will leave you with something from my past...
For your life I wish a celebration...

Do We Even Know What Christmas Time Is?

I am just going to be honest...for millions...and millions Xmas will be a reminder of what we don't have.

Jobs, food, places to call home, love, hope...

Its been replaced with pain, hurt, blame, loss, failure, emotional nihilism. This isn't in Africa or the Middle East I am speaking about. Its in America, we are the new THIRD WORLD COUNTRY! But as we see the 12 year old that seems to be angry, selfish, and lost; we accept that he is lost.

The lady in West Virginia that hates Obama, but is losing her husband and home to Cancer, we say good riddance to another dumb racist.

To the man that made $200,000 for years is now in his late 50's unemployed and close to penniless, we scoff at his plight because...well he made mistakes( the stock market didn't look at his color when it demolished his retirement fund) and wasted his cash..."you know I made a lot less, so to hell with him"!

The Marine that served her country only to find out that the only job available is to go back to a war that she doesn't believe in...well she doesn't support the troops, so to hell with her!

Countless of people that never fell through the cracks because they were NEVER on solid ground...well the system failed them? No according to our new found glory of thought...they are failures!

In time, we must accept that WE are the system. We made the system what it is...bad decision making at election time as if we ever had a good choice to begin with.

This is one of my favorite Xmas song...I doctored it up a bit to make a point. Times are getting too damn hard to see anything good...that is a recipe for madness. I hope that we can get mad enough to make some changes...



My hope for Xmas is that we can rise above this...for many don't know its Xmas time...

AT ALL.

Do They Know Its Xmas Time?

(lyrics are written by chloe glass) Paul Young


It's Christmas time, there's no need to be afraid

At christmas time, we let in light and we banish shade

Boy George

And in our world of plenty, we can spread a smile of joy!

Throw your arms around the world at christmas time



(Phil Collins on the drums)



George Micheal

But say a prayer - pray for the other ones

At christmas time



Simon Le Bon

it's hard, but when you're having fun

There's a world outside your window

Sting and Simon Le Bon

And it's a world of dreaded fear

Where the only water flowing is a bitter sting of tears

And the christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom



Bono

Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you

And there won't be hope in America this christmas time

The greatest gift for many this year is life

Where nothing ever grows

No rain or rivers flow



Do they know it's christmas time at all?



Here's to you

Raise your glass for everyone

Here's to them

Underneath that burning sun



Do they know it's christmas time at all?



Feed the world

Feed the world

Feed the world

Let them know it's christmas time and

Feed the world

Let them know it's christmas time and

Feed the world

Let them know it's christmas time and

Feed the world

Let them know it's christmas time and

Feed the world

Let them know it's christmas time and

Feed the world

Let them know it's christmas time

Bullet Wound With A Band-Aid: Part 1 of 5

When I was 5 years old I wanted one thing, to be president. Once I became an adult, that want slowly left my desire. I no longer saw the need to save everyone, not even myself. As I get older, I am of the mind set that there is no need to save those that dont have the desire to even save themselves.

Now I can sit back and watch and wonder...

This is the beginning of my end of blogging...I will shut my site down when I post the final piece of this observation.

Take care of yourselves.

I'm going to just say it…bullet wounds don’t heal with a Band-Aid. But damn if we aren’t stuck on Band-Aids. I have been constantly asking for comprehensive truth. I have decided to place issues out on to the table and see what people really think. This is the first of many that I will start a conversation with the intent to find truth.



Some have been questioning what truth means as if the definition is in question.


So let’s question it:






Social Security






It was created to address a serious problem…lack of socio-economic protection of the elderly. Its intent was to not allow our elderly to become homeless and destitute.


It was merely a stop gap, a last line of defense, the Omega of protection.






That was 1935. It’s now 2010. Social Security is now the Alpha and the Omega for so many people that it sickens me. There is blame to go around so many times that it would resemble a circle jerk of finger pointing to see who is truly responsible for such a mismanagement of a good idea. I for one, don’t give a damn about the blame anymore, I want the solution. Solutions require a problem. Let’s look at what they are:






Financial Mismanagement






Many people like it or not just don’t manage money well. I could go on further; speak on how we are easily malleable to advertisements or trying to keep up with the Joneses. But there is so much more to it.






Health Care






Medicare was and is not the solution. It’s just another failed answer. Single payer is not the solution, just another way to help people in the short term and hurt them in the long run.










Wage Inequality






I just wonder exactly when the labor part of the economic equation got such a false impression. How did labor, the process that makes all ideas possible, become the least of the equation? How did the people allow themselves to matter so little?






Crime






If I have a white collar and a lot of money I am presumed innocent? But be a working class stiff…guilty! There is a distrust in police, justice system, and the penal system.






Education






We have yet to get the education program right. No one is willing to be honest or is willing to comprehensively address the issues.






If you want to wonder why Social Security isn’t what we need look at the things I listed.


Does that mean remove it tomorrow? Of course not, but let’s not pretend that it is being used for its true intention. Just imagine if we could have a real, true conversation about the list I made. We could perform surgery instead of slapping a bandage on everything. Or is it a Band-Aid on many bullet wounds that satisfies us? I hope that many can find more to add to the list…and offer ideas.

Why I Wrote "At The Table"

I know that we are in pain...not the "I feel your pain" shit.



I want to know what it is...


Dont you want to let it go?


Dont you see someone besides yourself that is in pain?


Dont you want to take it from them?






We need each other...its not like it or not...its a different choice.






How long can we endure alone?


Our division has weakened us. Lack of unity has become our Kryptonite!


There isnt a Superman coming to save us!


Enlightenment isnt a thought...its an understanding of what YOU must do.


We need to come out of our heads and come to the table.


It is far easier to be us...than continue to be...me.



Superman-Five For Fighting



I can’t stand to fly

I’m not that naive

I’m just out to find

The better part of me



I’m more than a bird...i’m more than a plane

More than some pretty face beside a train

It’s not easy to be me



Wish that I could cry

Fall upon my knees

Find a way to lie

About a home I’ll never see



It may sound absurd...but don’t be naive

Even heroes have the right to bleed

I may be disturbed...but won’t you concede

Even heroes have the right to dream

It’s not easy to be me



Up, up and away...away from me

It’s all right...you can all sleep sound tonight

I’m not crazy...or anything...



I can’t stand to fly

I’m not that naive

Men weren’t meant to ride

With clouds between their knees



I’m only a man in a silly red sheet

Digging for kryptonite on this one way street

Only a man in a funny red sheet

Looking for special things inside of me

Inside of me

Inside me

Yeah, inside me

Inside of me



I’m only a man

In a funny red sheet

I’m only a man

Looking for a dream



I’m only a man

In a funny red sheet

And it’s not easy, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm...



Its not easy to be me

I Find This Anology Funny...

As I watched the Patriots destroy the Jets, I am reminded of why I hate politics.







The Patriots have always been given the "play the right way" brand. A calm, collected confidence. But when they were accused of cheating...it was...but everyone does it.


I have watched the game tonight and have caught 6 holding penalties, 2 blocks in the back, and a false start not called against them.


While I know its cynical or even biased, that confidence that they exude is from the knowledge that they have a reputation that absolves them from punishment when they do wrong and even more reward if they do right.






That is what the Republicans have on their side. No punishment for doing wrong and a great reward for doing right.

At The Table

This month I was going to announce my departure from blogging.



Just to be honest…I had enough! There wasn’t much else for me to say. Then I thought about the other reason that I was leaving.
What I am about to say may make me a hypocrite, I may come off judgmental, some may even think who am I to say such things.
Well, someone needs to say it, for many really need to hear it.


In this world and the next…WE NEED EACH OTHER!




Now that statement may come off a bit like a hippy, kumbaya, or just another rant from a person suffering from far too much empathy. I guess the only retort to that is there is already enough apathy. Too much judgment or should I say way too many idiosyncratic standards that keeps us as a people in the very same stagnant position that we have been in for decades, centuries, since the beginning. Where is the evolution? Where are the priorities? How can what is important to you be so much more important than us?


Now with that being said…you can disagree with what I am about to say, you can say you don’t believe it, or even just use willful ignorance…




ALL OF OUR LIVES ARE POLITICAL!


That’s right!


P-O-L-I-T-I-C-A-L!


Everything we do has a political slant. Don’t believe me…show me! Prove to me that I am wrong! I will wait………..






Now that no one can or will ever prove me wrong let’s get to the point that we need each other. So, here are some things I have been privy to in the internet world:




“You know. I was going to forward this video over to my facebook page up until you lost your intelligence when you started using the f-word. Not everyone enjoys profanity over common sense language. Nevertheless, you make very valid points.”



Swear words are SO offensive that you will ignore a valid point in order to pass judgment on to someone? Or are you trying to get people to deliver a message that fits the language that you approve of?



Why does that matter? Is it not more important to move forward, make progress, and have productive lives? Or are you being political? Imposing your views onto someone so that your idiosyncrasies are the homogenized norm? Have you not come to the realizations that swear words are generally a sign of frustration? Are you not frustrated? If we can understand that the mourning process is never a universal template, what makes you believe that frustration isn’t the same?



“Look slavery and hatred is going to exists from now until the comet comes and kills us all. And I also said that they are part of the problem if all they are going to do is yell and scream how evil whitey is. Until they came up with positive solutions for racism besides demanding shit that is completely impossible to do now, Maybe we can work together but until they get off their poor me poor me shit. Oh and by the way if you for get the governor of New Orleans was a nigger. not a whitey.”



Since this person is having some race issues, maybe we need to introduce them to the person in my next example:



“Nubie the attitudes of "we are owed" is the biggest factor in why white people dislike blacks so much...its the attitude not the skin color.
Blacks with this...your ancestors made us slaves bullshit! God people get over it! It was hundreds of years ago, and its long gone and dead!
If you all would just settle down on this shit, and get over this hatred you have of whites over it, it would go a long way toward solving the problems between the races.
Also society dont make racists...I blame alot of that on the blacks themselves...
Hell Nubie I dont apologize for my racial slurs...since moving to the south Ive come to truly dislike arrogant blacks...and in my view there are two types of blacks, the decent law abiding ones who work hard and do right by their kids and country, and the arrogant assholes who cry about how they were mistreated and now owed due to that.
do you think Im denying that? NO I made racial slurs all the time...especially to people like you with your uppity Im someone special bullshit, when all you are is an arrogant uppity bitch who unfortunately for your race shares the same skin color...
But Im on to ya now, my little nubikins...your nothing more then a nigger with an attitude. And yes I know exactly what that word means to you, remember you explained it to me.”

Now for just one minute; ask yourself…do we want that type of believe at the table?


I do. I want it all out on the table! I want every comment, every belief, and every doctrine right out in the forefront! Let’s talk it over and for God sakes listen!


But let’s start with the premise of truth.






POLITICS ARE OUR LIVES!






WE NEED EACH OTHER!


And one that many may not know, understands, or accepts…


POLITICS IS ABOUT MONEY!


I just wonder…how much of your present day belief will keep us from moving into the future because you are stuck in the past?

Sword Of Blogging...The Last Frontier

The handle of a sword is almost more important than the sword itself. Its power is in its role of unity, direction, and movement. One of the most commonly used terms for a sword handle is the hilt. I find it funny that outside the world of swords its definition is to the limit or go completely.






Shouldn't we communicate to the hilt, apply our skills completely, not find our ego filtering the words of others because it just doesn't suit our own agenda? As if one man’s agenda is better suited, that’s where the sword has been, lacking a hilt. We go about our day ex-communicating others with a line in the sand of a beach, as if the line gives credence to the falsehood that the rest of the beach doesn’t exist.






The hilt, taking it to the limit, is truly asking the artist has one lost the art of communication.






Many people post their beliefs, post facts, lay their heart and souls in the many social communities on the internet with just one goal...CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?!






Where is the empathy?






How tragic is it that we don’t acknowledge one another because they aren’t completely in accordance with “our” plan? Do we own the market on great plans? Are we the only people that are “in the know”? It’s a shame that we look at another’s point of view and dismiss them so easily. How can humans sharing the same land, the same air, and damn sure the same pain and suffering, refuse to share ideas and find common ground in order to survive and prosper.






I know there are many that say "I don't give a damn what you think". Yet at the same time you have a contact list. I think that thou protest too much. You do care. Your anger isn’t that hard to pick up on. We can hear it in the context of your words. Your pain isn’t as esoteric as you would believe. We feel it. Even when we lash out in anger, we feel it. There are many times that we just don’t understand it and give a backlash that matches your lash. It’s time for a healthy dose of care and concern. You can’t do that without listening. You can’t listen if your sand castle is better than everyone else’s beach.






We need to come together at one table and listen. Don’t say that you have. Come to the table. Bring your skills, all of them; include the ones that makes it possible to listen. Many share your pain, wouldn’t it be less of a burden if we could all carry the burden together.


We can ill afford to limit the invites because our way doesn’t match the way of others. We all have the same needs, do we all want to go without because a couple of disagreements of the wants?














I hope that we can put pride and ego aside and replace it with strength and understanding. I hope that we can take a moment to see the pain of a man and not think lesser of him. I hope that we can open our minds long enough to take it to the hilt.






If we don’t…we may miss the point.

Woke Up This Morning

I never knew what the day would bring. I would imagine that we all have plans and have an idea of what to do with our day. Does it ever be what we expect? Does it ever come a time that you wind down the day lay your head on the pillow and say...just how I planned it? Well this evening I am now convinced that it is NEVER a foresighted episode.

Tonight, I go to bed surprised, disappointed, and informed. Yes, I meant informed. I learned that the world is as I thought it was. Many bubbles trying to avoid its bubble to pop, even if that means other bubbles must sacrifice its existence.

I learned that the world is cold, distant, disconnected, and selfish. It needs its picture to be the picture of us all. It needs to destroy in order for it to be born.

I guess what I am trying to say...I saw the enemy today. I saw you...again.

I will never need that reminder again. My life for yours will never be.
Drawing first blood doesn't make you the winner, it only makes me resolved in your death.

I hope you are prepared...because you have shown...not that you don't care about me...but you don't care about yourself.

Ill prepare your last words.
I am Priest.

The Rally That Made Many Insane

There has been quite a back and forth about the rally that Jon Stewart held prior to the election. Most of the back and forth has been between liberals, progressives, and those on the left. The basic premise has been whether or not it was liked…let’s get to the real point.



Liked? Who cares if it was liked? A rally was held to point out the fear and political craze. Mr. Stewart fell very short in his goal. That is not an opinion…it’s a fact. A fact not lost on members of the MSNBC prime-time line up or Bill Maher.


But I want to point out some things that were missed…he proved the old premise of a “liberal”. It’s a disease that permeates many on the left, the desire to play it down the middle. He didn’t look at the truth in his criticism, he just looked to criticized. A flawed process, where he placed what is wrong with the right and applied to the left, which he even went on MSNBC to defend by nitpicking. So now he has placed his own peers in a enviable position. His peers must now criticize the “critic”, they must call out his blatant hypocrisy. He wanted it both ways; he tried to be independent and critical. He played fair and lost balance. His comparisons could only be achieved by him pressing a thumb on the scale he was using to compare. Teabagger is not in the realm of Dr. Tiller the baby killer.


The phrase false equivalence has been bounced around. I say it’s improper in this case…


Stewart flat out lied!


If he is going to have a rally to restore sanity he needs to start with his own.


For those that don’t know or don’t want to admit it, Stewart exposed the left vs. right pundit issue with Crossfire and killed the show. Don’t believe me, fine.


Prove me wrong…I was watching that show for the entire year prior to Stewart’s appearance. Ratings didn’t kill the show, Stewart (Mr. I'm not in the game) killed it by using a critical analysis of the show.


His best defense of lumping MSNBC with FOX is the left vs. right premise. Really?
Really? MSNBC is for the left? reporting the facts of what is wrong with the government is left. Lying at every turn in order to serve an agenda is the right? That’s the lie you made.


If there is amplification on MSNBC for the left…why has the left not heard it? If there is an apples and oranges comparison in his “analysis” how can one produce facts and the other be nutjobs? That’s a fair analysis? That’s how you come to the conclusion that they are the same? MSNBC is hurting America? Really, facts that lean to the left hurt America? Calling people that vote against their own financial interest by voting for their religious and racist interest teabaggers is hurting America? I just wonder would he have the balls to tell Gore Vidal that mocking or exposing the ridiculous is hurting America?

I would imagine that its my fault. I expected sanity restoration, I expected Stewart to say enough of the race bashing, internet bullying, media manipulation, astroturf deception, political side-stepping, and military expansion.


Alas, I got a bottleneck example to describe how we all get together to get things done. Maybe he needs to point out the insanity that got the myriads of bottlenecks in our country in the first place.


I just have one question left…would Jon Stewart tell this person who wrote the following that she is hurting America when addressing a lying, manipulative teabagger? Or just telling the truth…something Stewart was delinquent in doing by playing it down the middle:


“This is the point at which you show the exact dismissiveness I'm talking about. Note that I said I routinely CHECK the facts. It's not on my impression of his character or my inclination toward his views that I base my assertion that he gets his facts right. It's on quite a lot of experience at checking those facts and finding that they're right.


But you ignored that part so that you could do exactly what I said was the problem in the first place--be dismissive of something you really have no reason to dismiss.


If you said Hannity was a credible source, yes, that would be laughable, because he is often wrong. If you said, in contrast, that William F. Buckley was a credible source, you would not be ridiculous.


This is exactly what I'm talking about. You WANT Olbermann to be "the liberal Hannity"--and there are liberals just like Hannity, O'Reilly, and Limbaugh. But Olbermann isn't one. Is he biased? Even mean sometimes? You bet. But he gets his FACTS right and cites his SOURCES.


And that, my friend, makes all the difference. It's the difference between me actually being laughable or "worshiping" someone and me getting off my ass and doing my homework and drawing a conclusion about a source based on actual evidence--and the difference between us is that I read all of what you said and didn't just dismiss part of it.


The pumps, alas, are no more. One is missing.


See? All of it--even the part that some might say trivializes me and others might call an olive branch.
Here is one of those comments pointing out an error that you like to ignore: I said that you like to dismiss Olbermann, for instance, as being not credible because of his bias; I explained that it is possible to be biased AND accurate; I told you I'd checked his accuracy repeatedly and also checked his sources; and you came back with a comment that said EXACTLY what I said you always say, without evaluating the new evidence I'd provided or paying attention to anything I said after the part that you COULD ridicule if you took it out of context. In other words, you attempted to defeat my argument by committing the same error that that argument said you routinely commit.


How about this? YOU watch Olbermann talking about, say, the voting record of an elected official and then check that voting record. Do that over and over again. Come back with your results. If you catch him making the kinds of "mistakes" O'Reilly and Hannity do or outright lying like Limbaugh a statistically significant percentage of the time, you'll have a case to make. Until then, you can either accept that I believe him to be credible on FACTS because I CHECKED them--or you can call me a liar or suggest that I'm simply not competent to check things like how an elected official voted on something.


But you can't go "your argument is wrong because I say it's wrong" and expect any respect.”

Frame The Debate

I do truly feel sorry for my fellow humans. We fight, we bicker, and we complain!
I just wonder are we missing the point, are we denying our only true right…seek truth.
We hate change and the truth! It’s a painful existence to constantly have to analyze a situation that we believe should be absolute and final. Poor humans, it must be hard to grow, be analytical, and logical.

We have no idea how to comprehensively address a damn thing! Problems for us are like addressing a monster in a horror movie. If we don’t have a magic bullet…we start to shoot…even if it doesn’t work.
We aimlessly meander in our everyday lives as if it truly matters; we wear masks as if people don’t see them. So let’s look at one of the truths we ram our heads in the sand to avoid:

“That's just the way it is

Some things will never change

That's just the way it is

But don't you believe them”

That’s the Way It Is-Bruce Hornsby and the Range

Every American loves a successful rich person! We love a good happy feely story of success! But that’s been the point of the argument lately. We are divided between the two sides of a love/hate opinion of the rich. On one side has its “No poor man has ever given me a job”; the other side boasts the opinion of “they make too much”.


Well let’s start the flowchart properly. Are they a self-made man? Yes? Good, both sides love that. Did they work hard to get where they are? Yes? Great, both sides love that.Did they earn it the right way? No? Now we have a problem right? Wrong. We are arguing over the money, without addressing the real source of the problem.


Greed! We don’t have a class warfare issue. We have a crime/greed issue. No one can say that they like it when someone steals, kills, or just breaks the law without remorse. We don’t like it when harm is brought to people. Rape is a crime, when a deceitful businessman can rob you blind it’s a shame. A murder is a crime, when a politician, seeking to look tough on crime, can deny a man on death row a DNA test to prove his innocent it is a shame. Robbing a bank is a crime; bank failures accompanied with a bailout is a shame.

It’s a damn shame that “it is what it is” can be the explanation of millions of jobs lost due to laws and treaties made by the very people that we send financial contributions to and elect. It’s a dame shame that a company can make or do something that can kill you, but murder isn’t the case that we give them. Didn’t know that defective breaks killing you is a civil issue. Do I truly need to give anymore examples of what greed will do in order to make a dollar? Do I truly need to mention anymore horrors they have committed for the almighty dollar. Do we need to see anymore examples before too damn much isn't enough? Health Care?

Education? Wars? Housing market manipulations? Outing a CIA agent? What more do you need to know? How is it that you cant buy into the truth, but they can sell you anything but?

The truth of the matter is that we love the lifestyles of the rich and famous. We just don’t like when their riches makes us poor and their rise to fame is made by our fall of grace.

Greed isn't morally and legally right. No matter what anyone tells you…don’t you believe them.