Now I will be the first to admit…men are visual creatures. We love the sight of a beautiful woman. We need to appreciate the beauty of a woman. However, what I find myself enjoying most…is the beauty of her mind. To me, that is the first and final frontier…
Well, I'm out on a date…things are clicking.
There is chemistry…
She likes me, I like her…
We go to my place to “talk”…
We are lying together “talking”, not a word has been spoken…I stop!
Yes, that is what I said, STOP!
There are questions I have….doesn’t she have questions?
Now, here is where it gets tricky….if you want to have sex on a first date that is YOUR PREROGATIVE!
The issue here is not what happens between two consenting adults…the issue is this... are the two adults consenting?
In becoming seekers of companionship…do we blast past the courtship? Is this truly a society of “Me So Horny”?
This to me is the crux of our sexual relationship pathologies…the circle of a wedding band has driven women or should I just say it…”girls with a woman’s body” to accept an “O”(orgasm for those who don’t know) just to be accepted.
I remember, when I was young man, having to beg, borrow, cheat, and steal to get sex. However, today, in my virtual life, I have seen a disturbing shift.
I actually had a woman tell me, via the internet, that I'm making her wet online…
WTH!!!
This woman has yet to see my face or meet me and she tells me that I make her wet?
I could be a damn ugly ass troll!
This woman was pushing sex with me, while she wrote countless negative blogs about how ALL MEN WANT IS SEX!
Ladies, If what you want is the “O” of a wedding band and not the “O”…try not offering your body ASAP…try offering the possibility of being a wife instead.
Does that mean that you start to plan the wedding during the first date? No, but at least MAKE A MAN EARN YOUR LOVE!
If you have been burned, don’t go into a new forest with a torch in your hand. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I know there are so many reasons for this situation, fatherless childhood, sexual abuse, victim of cheating, etc…However, you must rise above these demons…you have to…in order to save yourself from even more heartache.
Sleeping around will not produce love, just an orgasm (if you’re lucky), or worse, a pregnancy with a “boy who wear a man’s mask…or worse (and we KNOW there is much, much worse)
Spend time to get to know the “boy behind the mask”, so that you can RUN!!!
I have been using this question on a lot of younger people to offer some clarity…
Before you have sex with someone, can you look into the eyes of your soon-to-be-lover and say…”Yes, I want this person to share a child with me”
If you can not say yes to that question…STOP!!! It is not worth the drama and pain.
We all know that women by nature are romantics…women go back to being natural state…is it easy, hell no, it is necessary….HELL YEAH!!!
Pain comes with a price, and so should love. Make us pay that price…you are worth it.
We will love and respect you for it.
8 comments:
In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. Is that really so wrong??
Assumptions are the termites of relationships. If you think about it : Intelligence is the wife, imagination is the mistress, and memory is the servent!
Escapism will have you doing some of the most irrational stuff especially when it comes to sex.
Escapism can have you do plenty but it is with in your mind in which YOU decide what to do. If you are with in your means. That is where people are misunderstood.Life is pretty much a game, you take chances everyday. Crossing the street,Driving to the store..The game is played to the best of your knowledge. If you play "the game" then you need to know and follow the rules!!!!"
How is it that when you either have "feelings" for some one or you are just a social butterfly that it has to come down to "a meaning"? Can't we just enjoy a person well being? Can't we just have conversation with out it leading to the question of wheather or not this person is "marriage material"? I would have to say that it has a lot to do with "age mantality"! People in general need to take time to "stop and smell the roses". You need to find time to do that. Everyday you meet a different challenge. You can accept the challenge and make it part of your life, or take the challenge and hope it is there for you to comfort....
So in all the belief of each other, where does one stand as in the aspect of, If a woman were to say to a man "i'm interested in having sex but just for the urge not for a relationship. what answer does the man or women give??? Does this make the women or man a "hunter" even if this engagement of having sex is just because of being curious about a person. women and men are pretty close when it comes to sex. Men say they need it women say they just want it!! So who if anyone is right?? I'd like to know an answer.
We all would like an answer...the problem is there is not an appropriate cookie cutter answer.
We all have demons or part of our lives we hide. Relationships dont last because we have not learned to face our demons. Most people are not honest at the begining of a relationship because they have some sort of a fear or something to hide. So most relationships do not last. The question is how do we deal with the things we lied about or kept secret. Does the other person forgive us? do we forgive ourselves for what we did? How do we know who can really trust? When you first start dating someone you truely dont know what it is going to turn into or if the person we thought we were dating is completely different than the person we first met. Sex is sex nothing more. Its not love. Love comes from how the person makes us feel.
Post a Comment